I Owe You 26 views
Published on 11/01/2009
Written in a SAD mood

My Demons 83 views
Published on 10/08/2009
Written in a SAD mood

The Little Things We Share 26 views
Published on 09/26/2009
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

Good-Bye My Love 57 views
Published on 07/12/2009
Written in a SAD mood

What Do I Do 51 views
Published on 07/12/2009
Written in a SAD mood

Leaving Me 48 views
Published on 07/03/2009
Written in a SAD mood

Prince Charming 120 views
Published on 06/25/2009
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

The End 92 views
Published on 06/25/2009
Written in a SAD mood

The Wall 126 views
Published on 06/23/2009
Written in a SAD mood

A Painted Box 127 views
Published on 02/28/2009
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

You 76 views
Published on 08/03/2008
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

Let Him Go 132 views
Published on 10/05/2007
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

For Rachel 135 views
Published on 08/11/2007
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

Was It All A Lie 105 views
Published on 06/16/2007
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

Becaue It Came From You 85 views
Published on 05/14/2007
Written in a NEUTRAL mood

Loooking at 35 In a new light! 08/28/2009
We all look at out lives in terms of measurements from the first moment we take our first breath to the very last breath we take. We judge our lives in years and by how old we have gotten. Thinking when we are teenagers that 50 is ancient 30 is old and our lives would be almost over at that point right? That by the time we hit that 30 mark man we should have our lives pretty much set and decided. A few weeks ago I turned 35, thinking GOD I'm old. Now I mainly felt that way because someone asked "how old are you?." And upon telling them their response was "I'm sorry." This week my son started high school. And last week my baby girl turned 13. And although the last fourteen years has gone by. I wouldn't say it has gone by in a flash. And I started thinking what have I done with my life in the 35 years I've been here. Cause if you were to say ya know 35 is only 15 years from 50! I'd say OMG!! Go one better and say 35 is half way to 70! and I would respond with WTF?!!!! I guess the key is changing how you look at that measurement of time. !! The last fourteen years may have seemed to have gone by fast. But when I stopped and thought about it. Reflecting on what my life has been, and what I have done, I realized that what I had accomplished was a lot. I've had two amazing and bright kids. And I've watched them go from small gurgling spitting, peeing, pooping , sleeping balls of life. Into bright amazing , brilliant angels that take my breath away every day. They are intelligent, warm, kind people who have so much potential and they aren't done yet. And when I sit back and watch them, listen to them and think about it.... I HAVE REALLY LIVED !!! I may not be financially set, or own my own home or car. I may not have a bank account in the plus, heck I don't even have a bank account. but... I gave birth to two amazing and wonderful children, who whether it be because of a small part, a portion of or a significant influence from me are two of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life. And they are still growing loving laughing and evolving little bits everyday. And the coolest thing is, not only do we like the same kinds of music, t.v. shows, the same types of people and see life in a lot of the same manners, I still grew up in the 80's with the big hair bands, deglow, WHAM, the brat pack, and so much more but my kids and I aren't too far apart that we can't kick it or relate to one another like my parents and I were. And still my freshman son didn't hesitate to ask his mom to walk with him his first day of high school to find the window where he would pick up his schedule. How cool is that!!! So I may be 50 in 15 years, and half way to 70. But if I have accomplished some of the most amazing things in the last 14 years, Imagine what I can do in the next 35!!View/Comment

Dear Friends 04/06/2007
To my friends here at 8hop Thank you. You have been such a support and an inspiration to this very broken person. Offering not only your thoughts but your strength and even your own life expierence to offer hope and insight. I have been so touched and amazed at the group of individuals that I have been lucky and blessed to have the oppertunity to write with and read with. Some have said that it's an ego site you don't really get critque it's all just what people think that you want to hear, there isn't any real truth to the feedback. But I know how my heart and thoughts play into what feedback I give myself and only judging from that I know there is more truth than niceties here. And I treasure the friends that I come to wait for each day. I find myself on constant check status and pins and needles waiting checking my email every ten min just to see if there has been a response a thought an input on what was posted, both from those I admire and respect here but from any one who stumbles by accident onto something I've written. And I am always touched and challenged and grateful for all of you. The past few weeks have been emotionally draining and heartbreaking for me and I know the worst is still to come the actual loss of the love and reason of my life. The day he stops calling or coming by to check for himself I'm still in one piece. I think sometimes had he and I been able to let ourselves hate each other and walk away like everyone else it wouldn't be so hard, but we love each other too deeply to do that to each other and unfortunatly sometimes that love changes for one and not the other leaving one with hope and someone to move forward with and the other lost alone empty and with nothing but the memories to live with for a future. THat is where I am today, struggling between hope it's not really over crushing pain because it may be and the choking fear I'll never feel his kiss or his arms or anyone's around me again. And in all of this my friends here have sent me notes just to say haven't seen anything posted lately are you ok? and similar messages. Making me feel special in my own way even if it's only to people who are millions of website servers and electrical lines and computer programs away. They are worth more than the human body next door right now. So thank you. Thank you for all you offered up to a stranger and to a person with no face no proof of the reality of who they are and their life. You are amazing angels and I can't begin to find the poetic words to do justice to who you are and the essence of what your worth to me. Always touched always grateful always unworthy but willing to try HeatherView/Comment